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Hunted: Book 2 of the Watched Trilogy Page 4
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“The betrayal you can’t get over?”
“Maybe.”
“Parker, I don’t know what to say. I can tell you I’m sorry a million times, but I don’t think it’s doing any good. But you have to know, I would give anything to be able to go back in time and change everything. Everything.”
“It’s fine. It’s in the past. We can’t change it, and it’s over.”
“It’s not over, kid. Never has been for me. And based on how you bit back at Vanessa, it’s not over for you either.”
“I’m engaged.”
“I know.”
“It has to be over.”
“All I want is for you to be happy. I need you to be happy if I have any hope of finding happiness one day.”
“I can’t believe you,” she whispers.
“Why?”
“You chose alcohol over me time and time again. You never came after me. When I didn’t come back, you didn’t even try. And then you turned to her. You chose her over me. Again. I was never enough for you.”
“That’s not true,” he argues.
She leans against the now closed front door. “Isn’t it? You never fought for me. You never came after me. You never called me. You just let me go. How am I supposed to believe anything you say, especially when you say it’s never been over for you? It was over for you that night.”
“Baby, I was a moron, okay? I was the world’s biggest moron. I felt like the only thing I had left to hang onto was my pride. I wish to God I never had done that. I should’ve gone after you.”
“This isn’t how it was supposed to be,” she whispers as tears fall down her face. Sliding down the wall, she hugs her knees to her chest. “This isn’t how we were supposed to end. We never got to truly start.”
“What can I do?”
“Nothing.” She takes a deep breath. “I just have to get over it. I thought I had, but I was lying to myself.”
“Get it out. Yell at me. Hit me.”
“No.”
“Please? You need to do this. It’ll make you feel better.”
“No, it’ll make me feel worse. Anything I do or say will hurt you. And when you get hurt, you drink. I’m not going to do that to you.”
“You don’t need to protect me, kid.”
“Don’t call me kid. It has too many good memories associated with it, and I’d like to hold onto those, please.”
“Baby,” Ryder says falling to his knees in front of her. “What can I do?”
“Nothing. It won’t help anyway.”
“Why not? You have no idea how cathartic is to yell at someone. Get all the feelings off your chest.”
“Yelling at Vanessa just made it all worse. And I know it won’t work because nothing makes me feel better.”
Ryder’s heart breaks as her tears continue to flow. “Please, baby? Talk to me then. Tell me what’s going on in your mind.”
“When I saw you with Vanessa, it tore my heart apart. I couldn’t breathe. I felt like I was dying. I wanted to die.”
Ryder’s chest feels heavy. “We were only there to make sure she was safe.”
“Not then. The night you threw an engagement ring at me. And then, when you never came after me, it broke me. I was broken. I’m still broken. Without you, I had no one. I mean, how was I supposed to come back here to Sam or Paige and not see you? And I knew seeing you would break me further, if it was even possible. Especially if you were okay, because I sure as hell wasn’t.”
“I wasn’t okay.”
Parker shakes her head. “I actually wished Kane would’ve been successful when he came after me. That he had killed me in the parking lot that night.”
“Don’t say that,” Ryder pleads. “Please, don’t ever say that.”
“At the time, it seemed like it would’ve been better. I wouldn’t have had to go through any of the stuff I did. I wouldn’t have been betrayed by my best friend. I wouldn’t have lost my parents. I would’ve never had you to lose, so I wouldn’t have felt like dying for an entire year.”
“Parker-“
“I also knew it was my own fault. I depended on you too much. I wasn’t enough, and you filled the void with things that hurt you. When it all went down, I had no hope of coming out okay. No one was there.”
“Why didn’t you call me? Yell at me? Tell me what an idiot I was?” Ryder cries.
“Mason told me not to. He was scared you would go off the deep end when you fully realized what you did. He was supposed to tell you when you were in the right headspace. I guess he never felt you were.”
Ryder punches the wall, his fist breaking through the drywall. “I’m so stupid! I let the best thing to ever happen to me walk away, and I never did a damn thing to try and stop you. I let my pride get in my own way, and I made you feel like you weren’t enough. I made you feel like it would’ve been better had you never fallen in love with me. I can’t believe how stupid I am.”
“We need to find a way to deal with all of this if we have any hope of being okay. I don’t want to hate you, and I don’t want you to hate me,” Parker says.
“You can’t leave until we get there, Park. I can’t bear to have you hate me anymore, and there’s nothing you could do to make me hate you.”
Chapter 7
Light shines in through the open blinds, falling upon Parker as she wakes up. Her back is stiff from the all too familiar couch, and Ryder is still asleep on the floor next to her. Taking in his features, she is overcoming with a feeling of missing this. Missing him. She missed just being able to watch him sleep.
Rising slowly, she carefully steps over Ryder to avoid waking him. She still remembers which boards were specifically squeaky and expertly avoided them. Falling asleep in the last place she truly felt was home with a fiancé back in the city makes her feel guilty. This isn’t what she planned to happen, and she started to panic when she realized her phone was still back at Paige’s. Would Jacob be worried? She knew he would. She also knew she didn’t want to be here when Ryder wakes up. If she had to guess, it was around five in the morning.
Opening the door, she turns to look at Ryder one last time before backing out the door. Closing the door quietly, she turns to head back to Paige’s house. The sight before her on the steps makes her stomach drop, and all of the memories she’s suppressed for years after writing the book come flooding back.
Lying on the steps is Vanessa, naked, left eye cut out with a slit above the eyebrow. Her hair has been dyed blonde, cut to Parker’s length, and curled. Parker starts screaming at the sight, and within second Ryder’s outside. Stopping dead in his tracks, he sees Vanessa on his front stops. Just like the past victims. Except he’s made Vanessa look like Parker.
Ryder grabs his phone from his pocket and calls in the scene. He hangs up and pulls Parker to his chest. She can’t seem to stop staring at Vanessa. He doesn’t know what to say as he feels the vomit rise in his throat. He looks away to force it back down.
“Oh my God!” Paige exclaims as she comes running over. All of the neighbors have started to come outside. Everyone was going to know she stayed over, and it doesn’t matter how innocent it was.
Within minutes, Sam was outside the home, ordering Scott to tape off the crime scene. Paige crawls up the side of his porch and hugs Parker as she sobs.
“I was such a bitch to her,” Parker cries into Paige’s shoulder. “I was awful. I honestly thought I hated her. But I didn’t want this for her.”
“I know, honey, I know.”
“What the hell?” Sam whispers.
“Fucking Kane,” Ryder growls through gritted teeth. If he’s not careful, he’s going to crack a few of them.
“When?” Mack asks.
“Sometime after midnight. I would’ve heard it before we fell asleep.”
“We?”
“I. Before I fell asleep.”
“Edwards,” Mack warns.
“We were just talking. There’s a lot of baggage to sift through. I passed out on the f
loor.”
“And her fiancé is just, what? Cool with it?” Mack asks.
Parker turns to face him. “I get it. You’re pissed at him. But don’t you dare try to make assumptions about me. You don’t know the whole story about what happened then, and you don’t know the whole story about what happened last night. And I know a lot more about you than you think I do, so maybe since you live in a glass house, you should put down the stones, huh?”
“Excuse me?”
“Martha.” Mack’s whole body stiffens at the name.
“Who’s Martha?” Ryder asks.
“No one. Sorry, Parker,” Mack says.
“Can we just get back to this, please?” Ryder looks at the sky. “Fuck! I shouldn’t have left her alone. I should’ve asked someone to watch the house. Or I should’ve stayed.”
“It’s not your fault,” Sam says. “She told you she didn’t want protection detail.”
Ryder looks over to Parker, and he sees how his words affected her. He shakes his head, unable to focus on that right now. He left Vanessa because he felt like he needed to get back to Parker. He deserted her when she needed him most. “How the fuck is this not my fault?”
“How do you control a psycho?” Mack asks. “Plus, you warned her. She didn’t want your help.”
“I should’ve forced her to accept it. I should’ve made someone stay outside her house. I should’ve tried harder.”
“Recurring theme, huh?” Parker bites at him. He’s made her feel like it’s her fault this happened. Considering her brother was the murderer, she can’t help but feel responsible.
The coroner arrives, stopping Ryder from saying anything further. Probably for the best. He preps the body before she’s transported to the morgue.
“It’s in our jurisdiction now,” Sam says. “Let’s head to the station to give forensics some time to get done here. I’ll drive.”
“I’ll take my bike. Park, you should go with Sam.”
She avoids eye contact as they walk through the house to head out the back sliding door instead of walking over Vanessa’s body.
“Are you sure you should separate?” Paige asks as they come around the house.
“Yeah,” they say together as he gets on his bike and rides away, not looking back. He can’t handle the look of disappointment he knows is on Parker’s face. He knows he’s pulling back, but he can’t help it. It’s like he’s watching himself make all of these mistakes, but he can’t stop any of them.
Paige met Parker at the station and drove her home. They spent hours at the station, and it was almost dinnertime when they returned to the house. Sitting in silence, Parker tries to process everything that happened the night before.
“You okay?” Paige asks. “Hungry?”
“No, not really.”
“What happened last night?”
“We talked. I thought we made progress. I seem to be wrong about him every time.”
“Give him a break this time, okay?”
“I’m going to take a shower. I feel dirty.” As she starts up the stairs, she turns back and looks at Paige. “Why did he make her look like me? I saw the photos of Grace, and she looked like herself. Why dye her hair and curl it?”
“Are you really trying to understand the inner workings of a psycho?”
“Yeah, I guess I am.”
Standing in the hot shower, her body is overcome with sobs. She gets herself together and lathers up her hair. As she does, she has an overwhelming feeling of worry wash over her. Rinsing her hair quickly, she hops out of the shower and gets dressed. Heading downstairs, she says, “I have to go.”
“Where?” Paige asks as she sets down her book, Grey something-or-other.
“I have to go to Ryder’s.”
“Do you think that’s a good idea, Park?”
“I feel like I have to check on him. Something’s wrong. I can’t explain it really. It’s like a sixth sense.”
“Or a sex-th sense?” Paige raises her eyebrows.
“It’s not like that.”
“Hey, I’m not judging. I know you spent the night there last night, and Jacob called me when he couldn’t get ahold of you.”
“What did you tell him?” Parker didn’t feel guilty anymore, and she wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not.
“I lied. I said you were spending time with Sam and left your phone behind on accident.”
“You could’ve told the truth.” She knew right then she needed to end the relationship. She’s not being fair to Jacob.
“I’m not going to rat you out. Hoes before bros, right?”
“Nothing happened. Just so you know. I cried, he beat himself up, we talked, we got to an okay place, and then we fell asleep. Separately. Then this morning, well, you saw how well this morning went. But I feel it in my bones, Paige. Something is wrong.”
“I’m just going on record to say this doesn’t sound like a good idea.”
“I hear you.”
“Okay, but promise me something. If he’s fine, come back.”
“Okay, Mom.”
Parker runs over to Ryder’s house and heads around back to avoid crossing the crime scene tape across the front steps. Ryder is sitting at the table with two forties in front of him, just staring at them. Trying to open the door, she finds it locked. Knocking, she hollers out his name.
Ryder jumps and turns to her, tears streaming down his face. Sighing, he gets up and unlocks the door. She lets herself in as he sits back down.
“Ryder,” she whispers as though she’s speaking to a frightened child.
“It’s my fault. She’s dead, and it’s my fault.”
“It isn’t your fault. And this is not the way to deal with this. You know this.”
“Pour them out.” His voice is quiet and strained.
Parker grabs the two bottles and opens them. Walking to the sink, she turns them upside down without hesitation. Walking back over to him, she kneels in front of him until she’s looking him in the eye. “Baby, there is nothing you could do. We talked to her. We tried to warn her. You talked to her. You can’t force someone to listen to you.”
“She deserved better,” he whispers, the tears still falling. “She deserved better than I gave her.”
“Oh, baby, don’t cry.” Parker stands up and hugs him to her. He buries his face into her stomach and holds onto her as though she’s the only thing keeping him afloat in the middle of the ocean.
“I didn’t even think of her as a possibility, Parker. I didn’t categorize her as someone I cared about. You did. What kind of man does that make me?”
“This isn’t your fault,” she says into his hair.
“Isn’t it? He’s targeting people close to me. How is that not my fault?”
“If it’s your fault, it’s also mine. He’s my brother, and the only reason he’s mad at you is because you saved me.”
“Don’t say that. No one blames you,” he says into her stomach.
“And no one blames you. Except you.”
“She deserved someone better than me.”
“Ryder-“
“I could never give myself to her completely. Even though that’s all she ever wanted. Whenever we were together, I was drunk. I was drunk so I could pretend she was you. I knew she wasn’t, but I didn’t care. For a little while, you were back with me. What kind of man does that to a woman?”
A knock on the door startles both of them, and Ryder hugs his face closer to her stomach. Parker turns to see Mason and Paige and waves them in.
“Everything okay?” Mason asks. He sees the bottles in the sink.
Parker nods. “He had me throw them out. He didn’t open them.”
“Holy shit,” Paige says, her eyes wide. “You weren’t kidding.”
“I told you I felt something was wrong.”
“If you don’t need us, we’ll get out of your hair,” Mason says and tugs Paige’s arm to the door.
“We’re fine,” Parker says. She runs her finger
s through Ryder’s hair. “He’s going to be fine.”
“I’m a call away.” Mason shuts the door and leads Paige away before she can say anything further.
Parker unwraps Ryder’s arms from around her waist and holds onto his hands. “Ryder, look at me. Vanessa knew what she was getting with you. She had every opportunity to leave, but she stayed. She thought she could change you, but she also made her choice not to leave. She was willing to take what you could give her, even if she wanted more. This isn’t your fault.”
“She still deserved better than that.”
“Maybe so, but she made her choice. She was a grown woman who knew what she was doing. Do you remember what she said to you outside of her house?”
“Not at the moment.”
“She told you she could never get you to commit, and she couldn’t seem to compare to me. She knew what she was in for. You didn’t deceive her. She knew exactly what she was getting with you. Nothing was forced upon her.”
“I’m sorry for what I said earlier.”
“It’s alright. I forgive you.”
Putting his hands on her hips, Ryder pushes her back a few steps. “You should leave, Park.”
“I’m not leaving you like this is.” She kneels down in front of him.
“Parker, I would give anything to go back.”
“I know. But you have to stop beating yourself up. I forgive you. I’m not mad anymore.” She leans in and puts her hands on his cheeks. Giving him a soft kiss, she pulls away, but he grabs her face and kisses her back hard. Moving her to a standing potion, he pulls her into his lap so she’s straddling him. Her hands are in his hair, and his hands roam her body.
“We shouldn’t do this,” Ryder says after he breaks the kiss.
“Is that what you want?” Parker looks into his eyes as she touches her lips. They’re swollen and tender from his kisses.
“Kid, it’s the last thing I want.” He pulls her in for another kiss and stands to carry her into the bedroom.
Chapter 8
Ryder lays her down and moves to kiss the crook of her neck. Slipping his hands under her shirt, he cups her breasts that fill his palms perfectly. Parker tugs at his shirt, and once it’s slipped off and over his head, she runs her hands up his newly defined abs. He reaches down to tug at her tank top and she lifts her torso off of the bed to allow him to pull it off. Reaching behind her, she unhooks her bra.